What's up with Emma?
Good question! Ha! My answer is a beautiful combination of A LOT and Not Much! Have you ever had that? Where the few things you're doing fill up all your mental space and time? My mom used to tell me it was because I procrastinate too much. And, at 20 years old I am beginning to agree with her. Having been graduated for about a month now, I am having those moments of absolute fear of the unknown, and I am suddenly able to understand how some people become "professional students". The things keeping me from investigating further education are my journal entries from the last month of school, my mom, and my desire to really grow my business! Literally, all my journals were saying how ready I was to be done, how excited I was to graduate, and how much I didn't want to continue at school. My parents love and support me through it all, but they have both sat down with me multiple times and spoken about how they think it's time to move on to the next phase of life. And, I agree with them. It's not like I actually take these fears seriously, but they're still present. Growing up is hard, and I've had my "back to school" process every year for the last 16 years at least. It's basically all I've ever known. So, to not have that is extremely bizarre.
Then of course, there is figuring out my schedule without actually having anything to hold me accountable to that schedule. Not having someone/something else telling me where to be and when is both freeing and hilariously dangerous. I mean, I know how to plan out my time, and make deadlines, and brush my teeth everyday. However, now that I'm out of school, the requirement and accountability is all on me. Not to mention the fact that "summer vacation" is out the window forever. lol. Summer as an adult is not at all the same as summer as a kid. Scheduling time to go to the lake with friends is a hassle. No one is ever free on the same days. I'm self-employed for crying-out-loud, and I can't even manage to have the same free time as my friends. It's a process for sure.
I know this blog sounds negative. But, I promise I'm not feeling negative. I often see photographers only share the "wonderful, cute, and epically fantastic" things they do. All while sharing these heavily edited, BEAUTIFUL, and filtered photos of their life. Well, not everything I do is...that. As proven by the pictures below, I don't carry my camera everywhere. But, I am ALWAYS taking photos! I love my life, and I want to show it. I love this process of figuring it out. I love learning how to function without school and with my own full-time business. I love my church, my family, my days off, and my 17 hour grind-days. This summer is the weirdest one I have ever lived, but it's still great in it's own right. I still have lots to look forward to, and so many moments that I have yet to enjoy! Silverwood, camping, kids camp, rodeos, teen camp, photoshoots, dinner with friends, lake trips, dog walks, tanning, reading, and more. I have so much to do, and I love it!
So there's a bit of an update! What's Emma thinking about? Here is the answer!
Thanks for reading friends!
Until we meet again!