This will be short and sweet
Because a picture is worth a thousand words, and a video is worth a thousand pictures. Let me say just a few things I learned about myself this year.
For starters, I am without a shadow of a doubt an ambivert. I know people roll their eyes at this identifier, but it's true. I am on FIRE when I am with people. I am almost always put into a better mood when I start talking to people. I absolutely love being people's cheerleader, making photos fun rather than a chore. I yell, I jump, I laugh, I squeal, I trip over nothing, it's a great time. However, the day after a big job (usually weddings or parties) I am absolutely fried. I will not be talking to people outside of my household, I will not be going out, I hate. Period. I just hate. Lol, no not really, but you get the idea. I need a few days to recuperate!!! By day 2, I can probably handle a coffee date or bible study, but sometimes even going to church is a struggle. I'm plain and simply out of words. I used to fight this part of me and I honestly thought all extroverts experienced this. Turns out, I'm just not an extrovert. Who-da ever guessed?
My mom. My mom guessed.
Another thing I learned about myself this year is that I play make believe. I used to call it "making up stories", but it recently dawned on me that unless I'm telling those stories in written or spoken word, it's really not story telling. It's playing make believe. It's also not a daydream habit. I 100% act out scenarios, in my room, with musical backtracks playing all the while in my earbuds. *sidenote* My mother recently asked me why I had 4 sets of earbuds, and I told her it's because I need to have access to my "play music" at any time, and I need it to be surround sound in my ears. Sometimes a pair of earbuds needs to charge, and I have zero tolerance for charge times. This is my solution. Considering I am a single pringle, I don't see any problem in this habit. It helps me stay creative without the responsibility that comes with my other creative outlets. Photography and Video making are wonderful, but they are seen and judged by others. The stories I make up and imagine in my head are just mine and I can re-do or disregard them as I please with no repercussions. Is it childish? Yeah. Is it fun? Also yeah. Am I judging myself as I write this out? Oh for sure, for sure!
Learned "thing" #3 would be - I cannot flirt. I know this one is silly, but I recently realized that my version of flirting is just incessantly making fun of/making weird faces at the person I'm trying to flirt with. CLOSING ONE EYE AND STICKING YOUR TONGUE OUT ISN'T FLIRTING - IT'S A SELFIE POSE. It is a problem. It isn't cute. I'm gross. I hate this part of me. I'm not looking for help or guidance or for an opportunity to change this, either. I've just come to terms with the fact that I as a person have no idea what flirting actually is. I used to think I was "bantering", which can be cute. But, this isn't banter. It's borderline harassment. So, in conclusion - I shall never flirt again. It's too embarrassing.
I could go on and on because
life is full of learning opportunities, but I won't. I'll stick with what I got and leave you with this: My Life in a snapshot. I look back at this year, and I to think it's safe to say that I wasn't the main character this year. I was the supportive side character with great style. And, I'm okay with that. Do I hope to be the main character of my own story again someday? Yes. But, I can also say that even in the best books an author has to spend a few chapters focused on the development of someone else for the betterment of our main heroine. I still lived, I still had a good year, I still did things of value, I still built relationships, served in church, worked, and I laughed and I cried. But, this year was not my main character moment. Which is why I felt the need to list off some things I learned about myself this year. Because I wasn't the lead, I had time to sit, listen, watch, and wait. I've sat in a role that I've never had before. And, I think I'm better for it. Hey, it helped me learn at least 3 different things about myself! So, I see it as a win win!
I promise I'm not sad, nor throwing myself a pitty party, I refuse to be that person. I'm just here, being Emma. Watching, Waiting, and supporting the main characters.